First, I thought I had a stable job. Then, I lose that stable job. Then, I enjoy productive unemployment. Then I get that "stable" job back, being on call for a need basis, thinking its only part-time. Then, that job is full-time.
Ahh! So much work-related drama. Just this rollercoaster is giving me a headache. Every time something changes, I feel a mini headache coming on. Who knew that this job that I once thought was a great opportunity to give me a boost in the working world would work so much for and against me simultaneously.
Having spent two and a half months unemployed, I have to admit that I was getting quite used to it. Though it took awhile for me to find my work ethic, as you can tell from my last post, I was slowly becoming more productive and loving the simplicity of it all. It was just my novel, my family, my friends, and my church. I didn't have to add in the stress of a 40 hour work week.
Now, all of the sudden its back in full-force, but tentative. I'm not sure if the interview I had today will lead to anything or if I will be working at my old office for a considerable amount of time. I don't even know what I will be doing!
I know that God is probably teaching me something. Being so totally outside of my comfort zone is scary to me. I am paranoid and a control freak, I admit it. This whole work situation is putting me terribly outside of my element in all of those categories. My mom told me to take it just one day at a time, but I hate not knowing what I'm going to be doing tomorrow. What can I bank on?
I am beginning to see the joys of being a stay-at-home mom. Even if you work with a home-based business like my mom does, life is simpler outside of the workplace. Not to mention, life is simpler if there are less wealthy people surrounding you, aka your boss. Haha. I have nothing against bosses and employers; I've just been able to see first hand what wealth can do to a person.
As my 0-hour-work week is being a 40-hour-work week and I'm going back dragging my feet somewhat, I am trying to see the positive side of it all. When I was unemployed but still getting severance, it was like I was being paid to not work, which spoiled me to no end. That paycheck is going to keep coming now, and I'm going to have to work for it. This was never a problem before, but now I understand why its so easy to take advantage of Unemployment Checks. You don't work and still get paid? I know its supposed to just hold you over, but its an easy rut to get stuck in.
I have this strong desire to just stay at home and write in the mornings like I did just a week ago. I have a strong desire to have free time and to sleep for 8 hours a day. I like the slow pace of life at home. I know that I can't get spoiled in such an environment, but you must see how attractive it is and how hard it is to leave it. Its so tempting to just say, "No thanks."
But someday it'll all end anyway, and I'll be back in the job pool.
This post is making no sense. LoL
That's okay. I'm just wishfully thinking anyway. Being somewhat of a whiner today. Just needed to get it out of my system.
No comments:
Post a Comment