Some females must have the exceptional ability to stay slender. I am sure some males do to--in fact, I know some males do--but for the sake of this post, I will stick with just females. Anyway, some females have the talent at staying skinny, and others don't.
There is this one girl who I have had two creative writing classes with who is exceptionally skinny. She also has tiny boobs. They are so small, I swear she doesn't need to wear a bra. But she's tall, at least as tall as me, and has long brown hair that makes her look even taller. She's skinny, and yet every class period she comes in with a VENTI coffee from Starbucks. And then in class today, she was telling the girl next to her that she stuffed herself on a Chipotle salad. Sure, it was a salad, but if I ate an entire one of those things, my pants would already be feeling tight, and I would be tempted to unbutton the top button of my jeans for relief. I wanted to gawk and be jealous, but I decided not to...at least, try not to.
I know its part of genes and genetics and all of that. My father has a belly. His lovely ability to gain fat primarily on your belly has been very ably passed down to me. Part of that has to do with my father's and my love for carbs. French fries and potatoes, especially. Potatoes have so much extra energy in them. And from what I read on WikiHow, extra carb fat tends to hang out around your belly for some reason. Wonderful.
I also know it is in part just genetics. Diabetes runs in my dad's side of the family, and diabetes-plagued people tend to gain more weight on their stomach. I'm not sure why, but that is what I have been told. Something about our ability to process sugar and all of that. I'm not sure.
I also know it is in part because of lack of exercise. My father and I aren't so good at exercising. At least Dad plays volleyball twice a week, but in his old age, I'm not so sure about the viability of that sort of work out. I'm sure its not as good as any aerobic exercise. And me, on the other hand, exercises little. People get on my case about it.
It must sound depressing that at my age, young and supposedly at the peak of my physical life, I am trying to lose belly fat. That is America for you, isn't it? Over-indulgence in French Fries. I don't want to make myself sound like a pig. I don't gorge on French Fries every night or anything, and in reality, I don't eat that much. I guess it must be the type of foods I choose to eat and my lack of exercise and my genetics all working together to maintain my bulge.
To some, this must sound crazy. Cheryl's not fat, they say. Yes, I know I'm not fat. But having struggled with self-image before, please understand it bothers me. It bothers me to no end to see some of myself hanging over the top of my jeans. It also bothers me when I know I'm not gorging myself on potatoes every day.
Eating a more balanced diet is probably what I need to do: more fruits and veggies instead of carbs and meats. I understand this. Its just hard to eat fruits and veggies when, like I am right now, shaking because I'm so hungry. You go for the high calorie foods just naturally at times like this, and even THEN you feel hungry, so you go for more. You want to be able to hold your hand up without it shaking in the air.
Something makes me wonder if there is some sort of physical disorder that I have that gives me these hunger bursts right after I've had a high calorie boba drink.
Anyway, that is my musings for today. I am jealous of those girls who can eat and stay thin. I'm not sure what it is. They must only eat one meal a day or starve themselves or just have it good, but either way, I am jealous. Even though I try not to be.
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