It's February, the red and pink month. As always, I am baffled by the evermore popular "Singles Awareness Day" celebrated during this 28 day period. As much as I know I have no place to say anything, I'll say it anyway: isn't that a little pathetic?
I'm not saying celebrating singleness is bad. Despite the fact that Valentine's Day is probably my second favorite holiday behind Christmas, I understand that there are plenty of people who rejoice in the opportunities presented by being single, but many people celebrate "SAD" because they wish they didn't have to.
I've posted a note on Facebook before talking about how Valentine's Day should be about celebrating love, not necessarily just romantic love, but love for your friends, your family, your neighbors, etc. God gave us an incredible opportunity TO LOVE. Shouldn't we partake in that blessing a little more often?
Jon and I are often put in the "other" category when it comes to relationships. We're often categorized by other single people as too good to be true, lucky, married, or something of the sort. Everyone seems to understand we aren't a normal dating relationship, which by itself I am okay with. However, I do come to resent the fact that we are an "other" as well. True, Jon and I have something special, I'm not going to deny that. But also, we had to work for it, and we were just like everyone else in the beginning as well.
When people ask me what makes my relationship work, I always tell them about how Jon was so invested in the relationship in the beginning and it was his leadership that kept us going through those tough first two and a half years. Jon doesn't like that telling because although he knows it holds some truth, he likes to cite my determination as well. But coming from this girl, I was just going along for the ride in the beginning. I had no idea that a relationship took so much time, energy, dedication, commitment, and endurance. Jon did. He invested so much into making me happy, and I didn't even realize.
Maybe its because we're high school sweethearts that people discount Jon's and my relationship as a fairy tale. Maybe because it doesn't happen that the first person you happen to date seriously ends up being the person you chose to marry. Maybe it's that. Maybe its because people often don't see the mistakes we've made or the tough journeys that we have been through. Or maybe they are jealous? I don't know. I just wish people understood that our relationship is not easy, that it is attainable for you too, and that love is selfless.
I've learned so much from being in a relationship with Jon. I've learned how God loves, even through the imperfect love that we try to show each other day to day. I've learned a little bit better about what unconditional love means, and how difficult we make it for God to love us. I've learned about what true desire is, and how we are supposed to desire God just as much as we desire our significant other, if not more. I've also learned that God created us as very social beings. We NEED other people. God made us that way because while He doesn't need us in the same way we need Him, He loves interaction, relationships, being.
My prayer is that more people understand that not being attached doesn't have any relation to how attractive you are as a person. I also pray that more people are willing to wait for a Godly relationship and not just give away such a huge part of themselves because they start to get desperate. While God created the wonderful institution of marriage, He also called us to rejoice when we are single.
Relationships are sticky things. You don't ever come out of any relationship (not just romantic) unscathed or unchanged. That is why it is so important that we seek healthy relationships and that we risk part of ourselves every time we enter into one. Because if you don't seek a healthy relationship, when you risk part of yourself, it'll get ugly. And if you seek a healthy relationship, but you don't risk part of yourself, it won't go anywhere.
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